obligations

I’ve been reminded of a major event in my life when I was at Loyola. I thought I’d share it.

There was a time where Jessica, Jen, Maggy, and I would make all these plans, like starting a Manga club, Naruto Milkshake Thursdays, etc. Well, I would hardly ever follow through with them. Like, for example, even though the Manga club was my idea initially, I didn’t go once. I would say that I would do it, and not show up, or make some lame excuse. Well, this one time, where I never said I was going to meet with them, but I said I wanted to, I ended up doing something with Candace instead. I didn’t think much of it, because I hadn’t actually said I was going to do anything with them. Well, they planned a way to make me feel how it feels to be left out. They planned on having Naruto Milkshake Thursdays without me. So, Jen said that we weren’t doing it in orchestra, and I wandered down to Jessica’s room, and Laura said they were at Jen’s watching it. I was livid. I was really upset that they would lie to me. Well, they confronted me about it the next day at anime club where I just started bawling and I left before the meeting ever started. Well, the next day I talked to Jessica, even though I was quite upset, because I really didn’t want that friendship to end, even though I was really upset. I remember telling her that I wouldn’t take such a thing from them again. That I just couldn’t handle it. Well, there was a misunderstanding that time, but it made me realize just how much keeping plans with your friends and colleagues is so important. Luckily, we talked it out and got over it, but it was a very hard thing in my life.

So, I feel very hypocritical by pointing out that I would like to at least be known about the changing of plans especially because this circumstance isn’t really a big deal at all. Yes, I’m very conscious of such things because I’ve had experiences with it, but is it really fair to push it on someone when it’s so trivial? I did have a slight reaction to it. Not a big one at all.

Needless to say, I need to give more compassion in similar situations. People, especially the ones close to me, are very important to me. Much more important to me than some small little thing like not showing up when they say they will or not calling me. I hope that one day I’ll be a better, more loving person.