I can't believe how happy I am lately. It's so surreal. I love it so much.

I've officially been kissed. Not just that, but by an amazing guy, that I care about a lot. Many people have told me that their first kiss was disapointing or that they wished they had waited because it was a fluke or some other reason. Not me. I, honestly, can never see myself saying that. The circumstances that led up to it are to intricate and to magical to ever be sad about it. It's taught me a lot. I hope, beyond anything, that this relationship will continue and thrive. I hope that we are able to grow and become better people because of each other. I hope that any distance between us will be nothing more than trivial.

However, if this relationship does fall apart for any reason, it has been a beneficial and beautiful event in my life. This person has helped me to logically think and analyze about myself more clearly. He's opened up the idea that maybe I can have a relationship in this life, and it can be so extremely powerful and poinent. He's shown me feelings I didn't know existed. The amount of peace, joy, and connectedness that I have been subjected to is mindblowingly surreal. How is it that I made a post in livejournal about how I was going to go out and find my dreams and love, and not sit idle, then this happens? There is just so many connections. It was meant to happen. That is my only conclusion.

I was searching my computer for a song tonight, and I ran into a couple of Jessica Simpson songs. I've been listening to one on repeat for about two hours. I love it when an artist's idea resonates within myself. It's ethereal. I really understand what they were trying to say, and I appriciate it so much. That and singing it is such a joy due to the fact it's just beautiful and in such a good range for my voice. Because I adore lyrics, I'm going to post them below.

You set my soul at ease
Chased darkness out of view
Left your desperate spell on me
Say you feel it too
I know you do
I've got so much more to give
This can't die, I yearn to live
Pour yourself all over me
And I'll cherish every drop
here on my knees

I wanna love you forever
And this is all I'm asking of you
10,000 lifetimes together
Is that so much for you to do
Cuz from the moment that I saw your face
and felt the fire of your sweet embrace
I swear I knewI wanna love you forever

My mind fails to understand
What my heart tells me to do
And I'd give up all I have just to be with you
And that would do
I've always been taught to win
And I never thought I'd fail
Be at the mercy of a man,
I've never been
Now I only want to be right where you are

In my life I've learned that heaven never waits
Let's take this now before it's gonelike yesterday
Cuz when I'm with you there's nowhere else
That I would ever wanna be no
I'm breathing for the next second I can feel you
Loving me


How is it that every line, word, and thought connect with me so deeply. I feel like my words are being drawn out of my soul and connected with a powerful melody, with an even more magnifying accompanying force? To feel the emancipation of the outside vibrations hit my skin with the vibrations of my soul from the inside, working it's way out is utterly indescribable. It paralyzes me. I don't dare move. I don't want it to go. It's a soft, spiral gust of wind that caresses my cheek and ruffles my hair.

I feel it when we touch.

My spirit, heart, and soul are engulfed liquid flame purity. I'm never alone.